Many of us have long days that keep us busy with what is happening. But by the end of the day, you may feel more anxiety.
Once our days end, we have fewer distractions from our anxiety, said Erica Basso, a psychotherapist and owner of a group practice in California. You may be worrying more about the things that make you anxious simply because you have the time to do so. On top of that, there are some things you may be doing in the evening that can snowball your racing thoughts — leading to anxiety keeping you awake and disturbing your sleep.
Below, we asked therapists to share the most common nighttime habits that may exacerbate anxiety. Here are some things to avoid so that you can relax and rest:
1、Doomscrolling.
Doomscrolling — also known as doomsurfing. It means that you spend too much time looking for negative content on social media or news media. You may feel like it will be helpful initially, but end up feeling anxious afterward.
“Consuming triggering information is overwhelming for our minds as it is trying to wind down and can worsen anxiety and can interfere with the quality of your sleep,” said Alyssa Mancao, a therapist and founder of Alyssa Marie Wellness.
Try to stop using social media and headlines at least 30 minutes before bedtime, but preferably even before that. Instead, try to read a book first before going to bed.
2、Skipping relaxation techniques.
Don’t underestimate the power of priming your brain for rest. According to Nekeshia Hammond, a psychologist, speaker and author, overlooking relaxation techniques can heighten anxiety during the evening and nighttime hours.
Sometimes, you need simple meditation or deep breathing exercises to relieve anxious thoughts and pave the way for a calmer sleep. If you don’t like these, try some gentle stretching exercises, keep a diary, or take a hot shower. Whatever helps your body and mind relax — without your phone.
3、Dwelling on past or future problems.
If you reflect on past problems or preview the next day in your bed before sleep, you are not alone. However, Basso says that this psychological practice can actually strengthen the cycle of anxiety by verifying threats.
She suggests “remind yourself that there’s nothing realistically in your control that you could do about what you are worrying about” before going to bed.
Instead, schedule a time to worry about —— and even delimit the time on the calendar so you can take it off your mind before trying a break.
4、Engaging in stressful discussions or an argument.
It’s normal to have evening conversations or later debriefs to discuss how the day went. Maybe you’re venting to your partner, or maybe this is the only time you can call your parents. But if it’s going to turn into something distressing, it’s better to save it for another time during the day.
“Talking to someone who focuses on unpleasant things or discussing something stressful can have a negative impact on your body. You may not even realize it, but your body and mind can start to absorb the negative feelings,” said Kristin Meekhof, co-author of “A Widow’s Guide to Healing.”
5、Checking work emails and messages.
When you check your work emails before bed, you’re getting back on track with your work responsibilities. Sage Grazer, a psychotherapist who specializes in anxiety, says this pushes boundaries at work and that getting restorative sleep is crucial for those prone to anxiety, perfectionism and wandering thoughts before bed.
Instead, if possible, leave work after get off work to maintain work-life balance. Try defining your boundaries so you can prioritize your time and achieve optimal happiness.
Finally, if you find that anxiety regularly affects your nights, it’s worth seeking professional support. A therapist can help you address the reasons for how you’re feeling and give you tools for daily management. You deserve to relax – especially at the end of a long day.