As someone who spends a lot of time alone, I call myself an introvert. Not only do I enjoy my own company, but I also need time alone to recharge, even if it’s just a small social interaction. However, extroverts, on the other hand, become energized by being around people and receiving lots of stimulation.
That being said, sometimes society is not designed to meet the needs of introverts, so socializing and communicating can be difficult. This is where therapy comes in: it can help you cope with these situations and help you explore your inner life, making you feel more comfortable with your quiet nature and the needs that come with it.
Below, we asked therapists to share the most common topics that introverts often bring up in therapy and why they typically come up. If you’re connected, you’re not alone.
Finding space to recharge their social battery
Everyone needs a little alone time from time to time. However, some people need it more than others – and achieving this can be difficult when loved ones may not understand how important it is or if you don’t have a physical space to isolate.
Many introverts may feel exhausted after socializing with friends, so it’s important for them to create space to recharge. This can be difficult if they live with a partner or roommates. In therapy, we often discuss how to effectively communicate their needs to ensure their friends or family understand that the space created by others is not personal.
Setting boundaries with friends and loved ones
Many people find it difficult to set boundaries, but for introverts, speaking up for themselves and expressing their needs can be even more difficult.
Many times, introverts talk about how they struggle to set boundaries because it may require more extroverted energy than they are comfortable with.
When introverted clients struggle with this, they may discuss how to set clear and to-the-point boundaries, because sometimes it’s easy to get caught up in discussions rather than actually setting boundaries.
Additionally, people often talk about coping skills and distress tolerance because uncomfortable feelings and emotions may arise when setting boundaries, and it is important for clients to know how to manage these issues in a healthy way when they arise.
Managing communication with friends
This isn’t a topic that only introverts bring up in therapy, but it comes up often because sometimes it can be overwhelming to respond to texts and phone calls when your social battery is running low.
For some introverts, the concept of answering a phone call or text message can be overwhelming, and they may have difficulty coaching loved ones about their communication preferences.
Managing overstimulation and irritability
After spending time socializing in a group setting, introverts will need time alone to recharge. When they can’t understand this or have trouble expressing this need, it sometimes leads to dysphoria – a topic that introverts often bring up in therapy as they seek better ways to manage it.
It’s really common for introverts to either shut down or become irritable when they become overstimulated or their social batteries are drained.
In therapy, the therapist and client will work together to discuss and develop mindfulness skills and coping techniques to help them prepare for highly agitating or overstimulating situations.
“We also talk about how to take accountability for the times where their irritability may get the best of them and come out towards other people,” Gingrich said.
Although it may be difficult, it’s important to take responsibility and move forward in a healthier, more productive way.
Wanting to find a romantic relationship
Dating can be difficult for anyone—including introverts, who can easily become burned out on social interactions. For an introvert who needs frequent alone time to recharge, multiple dates can feel overwhelming.
Introverts often bring up this question because the idea of online dating can seem daunting with meeting a lot of people and dating in different settings.
It’s not that introverts don’t want romantic relationships, it’s just that it’s hard to find the balance necessary to satisfy the needs of both parties.
Dealing with societal pressure
Society puts a lot of pressure on people to maintain the status quo in almost everything. However, introverts often find it difficult when extroversion becomes the default personality.
Introverts often mention that they worry about what others think of them and that they feel constant social pressure to participate in activities and socialize with friends. They may also sometimes believe that there is something wrong with them, or that they do not live up to society’s standards as a result.